If you have ventured onto any social media platform for the past few days you have undoubtedly feasted your eyes on Starbucks new Unicorn Frappuccino (read our review here). It’s truly something to see, tailor-made for Instagram and selfies. Yet, as modern as it is with its spirulina (a natural algae) and radish food colorings, it feels exactly like the 80’s to me. Maybe it’s because of the indulgent and excessive 59 grams of sugar, but I think it’s more because of the bright colors and the fact that unicorn is the perfect animal to represent the 80’s. Think about it, unicorns are brash, have big hair and they aren’t really real, kind of like a lot of things from the 1980’s like the idea Ronald Reagan was a good president or that Trump was a good businessman. Since Starbucks has ventured into the world of creating giant coffees based on nostalgia, here are a few other ideas for 1980’s themed frappuccinos that I’d like to see!
The Alex P. Keaton
This frappuccino would need to be decadent, in an uptight, controlling way, served with a dash of jelly beans to help you swallow all the Reaganomics goodness headed your way.
The Baby Houseman
Hello, watermelon with a dash of golden dancing shoes so no one would dare put this frappucino in a corner.
The Blair Warner
Does angora have a flavor? Does vintage Gucci? I’m counting on Starbucks to figure it out to deliver a drink that will make me “have another one of my brilliant ideas,” a la the most fabulous of The Facts of Life girls.
The Punky Brewster
Between her love of mismatched colors and patches this feels like a natural. Who doesn’t want to add a dash of Punky Power to their morning or afternoon?
As a child of the 1980’s I really want to try this Unicorn Frappucccino, which is weird because I never drink coffee or coffee drinks. I’ve been assured by many that this is no mere coffee drink, but a sweet, sour, non-caffeinated, mango flavored frosty beverage that will either be fantastic or terrifying to the palate. But, it’s so pretty, I just may have to give in to the urge (or weird pregnancy craving) to try it.
However, if I start crimping my hair and singing a Belinda Carlisle medley, you’ll really only have Starbucks to blame. I’ll be having a Go-Go’s moment and dreaming of when Starbucks will create another 1980’s themed frappucino!